Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Aslan in South Shields

Sand Aslan
Slick seal tide stains silk soft sand
when its  and the persistent push of water
makes a brand new tide of  pebbles

Food Bread in plastic, wrapped in silver,
tea from flasks in stainless steel
cigarettes in slackened fingers

Sisters, brothers,  all garnered
guile and  innocence
paw down  sand in rusty  tins

Sharpened spears of twice-used wood.
 pierce  the sand-scapes

- chips, perhaps,off the old lion block?

(This is a new one. I am stll working on you see W)


  1. I love the new poem that you are working on, Wendy. The first line with its strong alliteration makes you want to read on. It paints a vivid picture of the beach and we see a strong contrast between nature in the first stanza and the everyday life of the human occupants in the second. I love the picture and also the title 'Aslan in South Shields'. Brilliant.

  2. Thank you Geri. You get my intention here. It's still to refine. My favourite line so far 'cigarettes in slackened fingers'. wx

    1. Yes - 'cigarettes in slackened fingers' really gives the idea of relaxation as the people sitting on the beach try to de-stress and the alliteration in:
      ....stainless steel
      Cigarettes in slackened fingers..
      emphasises this quite strongly. It is really working well.

  3. Love the crossings out! Just like a notebook. And I like the cigarettes in slackened fingers too.



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